


The Void

by TheatricalAssassin



Category: Original Work
Genre: Death, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Late Night Writing, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, Suicidal Thoughts, Vent Writing, Wordcount: 100-500
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 17:38:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11166765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheatricalAssassin/pseuds/TheatricalAssassin
Summary: A small essay on the abyss





	The Void

**Author's Note:**

> mental illness is a fuck and i honestly can't write on some of my other projects so i started doing this one in hopes that it would help some.

One of the oldest sayings that one will hear is, “if one stares into the abyss, the abyss will stare back.” or some variation upon it. The real meaning of this has been lost in the public mind. Just a string of words that is supposed to be creepy or unsettling, no real point other than that. But what happens when one is born of the abyss?

To say that one is truly “born of the abyss” is a misnomer. There doesn’t seem to be any definitive proof that one can be born of the abyss, but there is definitive proof that one can be lost to it. Countless souls have thrust themselves upon the breast of the unforgiving void. 

Or was it the forgiving one?

They also say that the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t. But one could argue that one doesn’t truly know the void. One cannot. In its very nature it’s unknowable. It is just beyond us, yet it is very close to our hearts. 

The World Of Man is undeniably unforgiving, its harsh world is not one done out of desperate survival. No. It is done out of choice. Man’s World has cruelty as the status quo, expecting us to be okay with violence inflicted upon us. Kindness treated as acts that are out of the norm and something to be celebrated, hailed as heroes for doing something that should be the baseline for human behavior. But it always fades away, a small sparkly in the chaos and the pain. 

And The Void Will Be Calling. You. Me. Everyone it has touched. It calls to me every day of my life. I do not know how to answer it. I want to leave, I want to embrace it fully with everything that it has not already taken from me. 

But I cannot. 

It follows me like a reaper, waiting patiently for me to decide that this time, this time I have found my way to it’s door. Waiting for me at the dinner table, ready to hear my tale, ready with tea and cake. Ready to take my hand and wipe away the tears.

But I cannot. 

I deny it, some days harsher than others. I force myself to pull myself through the darkness and chaos that is Man’s World. I tie myself to lifelines that I know are not stable, but are unwilling to go without one. I gingerly hold my hand out to a select few, praying to the powers that be that one of them will grasp it and pull me back up. 

I fight it, but it does not fight back. The Void is not the affliction. The Abyss is not what calls me there. They are simply the destinations. They do not have harbingers, messengers, nor reapers. 

They simply wait in their abode, for me to find my own way there. 

While I fight a war that from all sides is never happening. While I struggle to seek aid from my allies. While I destroy myself from the inside out.

They simply wait, bide their time. Knowing that all eventually answer the call. 


End file.
